after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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