She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
