you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
