I hate all girls vehemently.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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