she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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