i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
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Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I need water and some morals
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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