making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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