After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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