why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
