rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize