I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
