Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
