is wine microwaveable?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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