Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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