You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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