so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
sex in a hospital.. check
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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