Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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