took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
