all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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