so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm like, not good at living.
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