I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
