I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
