You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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