my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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