two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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