But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
