So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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