I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
