It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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