come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
