Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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