I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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