Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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