i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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