i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
