I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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