I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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