Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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