i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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