Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize