i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
