There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
