I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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