You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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