how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
