office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
