oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
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