I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
