Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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