Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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