Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
