put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
