Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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