Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
