i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
