also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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