Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize