you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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