will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
