i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
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Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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