I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ketchup is God's man juice
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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