My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
