I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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