I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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