New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
