I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am one with the molecules
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
