I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
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i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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