I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ketchup is God's man juice
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
